Tonight's debate will feature two candidates with wildly opposite takes on every issue. Oh, and the president will be there, too. Hey now!
We're proud to present the 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game. To play, you can use your drink of choice, but be careful. Analysis of this game suggests that an alcoholic coma is likely within the first 30 minutes.
Rules of the Game:
1. If Obama uses either the word "millionaires" or "billionaires": One shot
2. If Obama uses the words "millionaires" AND "billionaires" in the same sentence: Two shots
3. If Romney uses the word "failed": One shot
4. If Romney invokes Bain Capital as a reason to elect him: Two shots.
5. If Obama says he's "fighting for the middle class," do a shot...TWO, if you believe him
6. If Romney invokes "The Reagan": Take two shots, promptly forget how many shots you took, take two more
7. Anytime someone mentions 47 percent, the host has to buy drinks for the entire group
8. If either candidate explicitly claims they want to completely get rid of any government program: the last person to stop coughing drinks two shots
9. Every time Obama says "Democratic leadership," the first person to stop laughing is exempt from taking a shot. If he mentions the "Republican leadership," everyone throws up.
10. Anytime either candidate mentions health care, you cannot take a shot. Obamacare doesn't cover a liver transplant.
11. If the president tells a touching tale of some poor adolescent brought to the U-S as children will no longer face deportation thanks to passage of the Dream Act, the host gets to kick everybody else once. Twice, if the person/kid is in the audience. Three times, if he or she is sitting next to a member of the military.
12. Every time either candidate mentions bipartisanship, you have to drink two shots: One for your political party and one for the other political party. Independents drink three shots.